Research and clients’ own experience indicate one thing very clearly. First and foremost it is the quality of the relationship you have with your therapist that determines the likelihood of it being helpful to you.

This is not to say their theoretical approach is unimportant, but it does mean any preference you may have towards a particular approach is not likely to compensate for a poor working relationship. The personal qualities of the therapist and the empathy established between you are more important.

You may know a friend or relative who has seen a therapist and can recommend them. This does not necessarily mean you will also find that therapist helpful, but it does at least increase the chances of that happening.

You could also contact The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. With 30,000 members this is by far the UK’s largest counselling/therapy organisation. Members who have ‘BACP Accredited’ or ‘BACP Registered’ after their name have met more stringent membership requirements than non Accredited/Registered members. BACP have a useful website www.bacp.co.uk that contains a list of their members according to region and giving brief details of their background and qualifications. BACP’s telephone number is 0870 443 5252.

Yellow Pages also contains ‘Counselling & Advice’ and ‘Psychotherapy & Analysis’ categories. While many reputable therapists are listed here, bear in mind that counselling and psychotherapy are not yet subject to statutory regulation. This means anyone can call themselves a ‘counsellor’ or ‘psychotherapist’ with a minimum of (or no) training.

It can be a good idea to select a ‘shortlist’ of several counsellors. You can then telephone each of them and see how you feel just by speaking to them. Your gut instinct is often a good indicator. You can ask about their training and qualifications (if you are unsure about these). Don’t be nervous about doing this – a reputable therapist will be happy to answer such queries. It may help if you can briefly explain why you are thinking of having counselling so as to check if the counsellor feels it is within their area of experience and expertise.

Many GP surgeries now have a counsellor (or counsellors) attached to them. As an NHS service this is free although you may have to wait some time for an appointment as demand often exceeds supply. Because of this latter factor there is often a limit to the number of sessions you will be allowed.

There are also some voluntary organisations (such as Cruse bereavement care) that offer a limited number of counselling sessions. You will not usually have to pay for these (although some will make a small charge or you may be asked to make a donation). Again, demand often exceeds supply, compounded by voluntary organisations often being chronically short of funds and resources.